MiLF Constitution – TROLLTIDE FANTASY NETWORK

The Nitty Gritty Titty Committee

We hold some of these truths to be self evident. The rest of them got kind of fuzzy, so we felt the need to clarify with some sort of official rules set. If something is not covered here, and you find it to be kind of a gray area, please let the commissioner know so that it can be addressed in future revisions. Or don’t. Exploit the shit out of it until we are forced to recognize and address the issue. The choice is yours. Personally, I’d choose exploitation.

Minor League Fantasy (MiLF) League – The Basics
1. The MiLF League is currently a 14 team league.
  1. The number of teams in the MiLF League may, over time, be changed based on outside factors.
  2. Any change to the number of teams in the MiLF League will result in a direct amendment to 1.a at the time that the change is made.
  3. For any given reason, the number of teams in the MiLF League shall not be fewer than 8 teams or greater than 16 teams.
  4. The total number of teams can be expanded or contracted within the 10 to 16 team manager range at the sole discretion of the commissioner.
  5. The total number of teams can be reduced below 10 only if the number of team managers leaving the league between seasons would bring the total number of teams below 10, and suitable replacements can not be found in time for the upcoming season.
2. The MiLF League is a full point PPR league.
  1. Each player shall receive 1 point for each reception.
3. The MiLF League is a redraft league.
  1. There are no “keepers” in the MiLF League.
The Draft
1. The MiLF League shall draft during a live draft event.
  1. Beginning with the draft for the 2019 season, the MiLF League shall have their live draft on the last Saturday in August prior to August 30th (to avoid conflicts with the Labor Day holiday weekend)
    1. 2021 Draft Date – August 28th, 2021
    2. 2022 Draft Date – August 27th, 2022
    3. 2023 Draft Date – August 26th, 2023
2. The draft “get together” shall commence at 7:00 PM EST, and the draft proper shall commence no later than 8:00 PM EST.
3. If a conflict arises that would prevent MORE THAN THREE team managers from participating in the live draft, the date and/or time of the live draft may be changed from the scheduled date.
4. Team managers who are unable to attend the live draft should notify the commissioner by July 15th (if possible) so that the proxy designation process, etc. can begin.
5. If more than three team managers have reported that they will be unable to participate in the live draft, the commissioner may communicate with all team managers and attempt to determine if another date works better for all parties.
6. The draft date and/or time may only be changed if BOTH the change in draft date would allow more team managers to be present than the originally scheduled date and time AND all team managers who would have been able to attend the scheduled date/time are still able to attend the new date/time.
7. Team managers who are unable to attend the live draft event have three options for how their team shall be drafted:
  1. Absent team managers may assign a proxy, or ask the commissioner to find and assign them a proxy, to participate in the draft for them. Absent team managers may provide as much or as little information, guidance, and/or strategy to their proxy, before and during the draft, as they wish. The use of a proxy by an absent team manager is an absolute acceptance by that team manager of the team that the proxy drafts.
  2. Absent team managers may draft live, remotely via the Sleeper app. The same time limit will be enforced on remote drafters as on live drafters. In the event that a remote drafter fails to make their draft selection within the given time FOR ANY REASON (including disconnects, service interruptions, etc.) their pick will be autodrafted by the Sleeper autodraft algorithm. This sucks? You didn’t want to take Patrick Mahomes in the middle of the first but your WiFi cut out and that’s what the autodraft gave you? Maybe you should make time to actually be present for an event that is scheduled over a year out. Just count your lucky god damned stars that we aren’t overriding the autodraft and force feeding you a kicker, you selfish fuck. You disgust me.
  3. Absent team managers may choose to be autodrafted in the Sleeper app. You can go ahead and throw caution to the wind and let a god damned algorithm draft your whole team for you. By selecting to have your team autodrafted you are agreeing to accept your team as drafted. God, this option is boring. Fuck you for making me even think about it.
8. The MiLF Draft will be a hybrid live event and online draft through the Sleeper app. Participants at the live draft event are expected to make their own draft selections via their cell phone, laptop, tablet, smart fridge, etc.
9. Autodraft will be turned on for the entire draft, so if a team manager does not get their pick in within the time limit, the Sleeper autodraft algorithm will make their pick for them. This will not be overturned.
10. This use of autodraft means that we will be abolishing our treasured “Attention Tax,” which realistically had already been neutered beyond recognition by the “Kyle’s Law” amendments. Let us take a moment to remember all of the pure joy and chaos that the “Attention Tax” gave us over the last several years. May we find a way to return it to its former glory at some point in the future.
11. The draft order shall be determined at the live event. No specific method must be followed for determining the draft order, as long as there is a sufficient element of randomness to the creation of the order. It’s basically whatever tickles my pickle, dog. It could be a one phase process. It could be a two phase process. It could be a year long scavenger hunt. The method of determining the draft order shall be chosen at the sole discretion of the commissioner, and shall be disclosed and explained at the time of the order determination (or some time prior, if deemed necessary by the commissioner).
12. The MiLF League shall use a standard “snake” draft, with each odd numbered round following the draft order and each even numbered round following the reverse of the draft order.
13. Team managers shall have 60 seconds to make their draft pick once they are “on the clock.”
14. There will be a ten minute break following the 4th and 8th rounds. These are opportunities to smoke, use the restroom, update your personal draftboard, etc. The draft may be resumed before ten minutes has passed if all participating team managers have indicated that they are ready to proceed.
15. The MiLF League draft shall consist of 13 rounds of drafting.
16. Team managers are not required to draft any particular positions. There is no requirement that a team manager drafts one of every roster position, but with changes to the roster format, you’re probably going to want to. As such, there is no requirement that a team manager be able to “field” a complete roster at the conclusion of the draft.
17. There is no maximum limit on the number of players of a particular position that a team manager is able to draft. If you want 13 running backs, fucking go for it dude. Need 3 quarterbacks to go with your 4 tight ends? Everybody laughing at you? Fuck them, man. You’re drunk, right? Having a good time? That’s all that matters.
Roster Composition
1. The MiLF League uses eight roster slots, as follows:
  1. One Quarterback
  2. One Wide Receiver
  3. One Running Back
  4. One Tight End
  5. Three Flex (WR/RB/TE)
  6. One Superflex (QB/WR/RB/TE)
2. In addition, each team will have five bench slots.
3. Each team manager is expected, but not necessarily required, to “field” a complete team each week. There may be situations where a team manager may have built his or her team using a strategy that requires them to field a partial team for one or more weeks. While this is clearly not ideal, it is acceptable in the MiLF. Team managers are free to contact one another to ask about incomplete lineups, in the event that they believe a manager may not be aware that their lineup is complete.
  1. While this behavior is accepted in certain situations or to utilize certain strategies, team managers who consistently fail to field a complete lineup due to negligence (looking at you Scott) will be evaluated and potentially replaced before the following season.
  2. Any team manager is free to contact the commissioner to report what they believe to be negligence on the part of any other team manager.
  3. All reports of negligence will be investigated by the commissioner, and dealt with as seen appropriate. In the event that a team manager is contacted in regards to claims of negligence, any team managers that reported the offending team manager will be provided anonymity.
4. Future Draft Pick Trading (or Lack Thereof)
  1. In the darkness of the way, way back before times (in all seasons prior to the 2020 season), the trading of draft picks for future seasons was an accepted practice within the MiLF League.
  2. Beginning with the 2020 season, and moving forward into the bright, shiny future times of rainbow-y goodness and justice and equity for all, fuck that shit. Future draft pick trading is out.
  3. Seriously. You guys had your fun. But it’s over. At least for now. I mean, we’ll see, right? Like… I could change my mind again when I forget how bad it feels.
  4. All legacy draft pick trades that affected the 2020 season were honored as originally intended. The one remaining legacy trade that would have affected the 2021 season has been voided in an agreement between Justin, Roberts, and Caleb due to the format change. Caleb is a generous and honorable team manager, and the pinnacle of MiLF-ly sportsmanship.
League Fees
1. For its first several seasons, the MiLF League played for pride and pride alone. And a trophy. So not really pride alone. But mostly pride. Starting with the 2018 season, there will be league fees of $20.00 for each team manager. The following breakdown will be used for payouts, assuming the current 14 team format. This section will be updated as necessary.
  1. $200.00 – Overall League Winner – The overall MiLF League champion will take home $200.00. Not bad, considering the fucks who have won it already. It can’t be hard. Easy money.
  2. $20.00 – Overall League 2nd Place – If you make it to the championship game and fall short, guess what? You’re still getting your money back. How’s that for fairness? Doesn’t seem awesome does it? You made it this far and don’t make any money? Fuck you. Take your twenty back and go die in a house fire.
  3. $20.00 – Regular Season 1st Place – This money goes to the team manager who is in first place going into the playoffs. They worked hard to get there. They did all the right things. And they are about to get fucking hammered down by a fluke performance put up against them in the first round of the playoffs. They aren’t going to win. They don’t even have a chance. They just don’t know it yet. Let them have this.
  4. $40.00 – Commissioner Expenses – This money comes to me and I’m going to be fucking swimming in it Scrooge McDuck style. This will go to offset the cost of draft supplies, the trophies (only 42 more payments to go, then those bad boys are ours), additional nameplates, etc. These funds will also be saved and allocated for the purchase of new trophies, plaques, rings, belts, banners, etc. as deemed fit. These could be for worst draft, most fucked by injury, etc. The sky is the limit.